


Trying to Find the Light

by KagekaNecavi



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Cap_Ironman Tiny Reverse Bang, Hopeful Ending, Infinity Gauntlet, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Slash, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagekaNecavi/pseuds/KagekaNecavi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been Steve’s experience that second chances very rarely happen when you’re expecting them, and sometimes they even happen completely by accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trying to Find the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt [Confession](http://capim-tinybang.tumblr.com/post/146796580188/cap-im-tiny-rb-round-3-classic-and-confession) as part of the [Cap/Iron Man Tiny Reverse Bang event.](http://capim-tinybang.tumblr.com/)
> 
> See end notes for warnings.

It had taken the imminent end of the world for Tony to call Steve. And now, lying on his back and not feeling much of anything - thank you hospital grade painkillers - Tony realizes that his ego, scratch that  _their_  egos, probably destroyed the universe. He lets out a bitter laugh and it turns into a wracking cough.

“Tony!” Steve shouts, running over and skidding to a halt beside him. He drops to his knees and tears his helmet off and it reminds Tony so strongly of the battle with Loki and the Chitauri. Tony tries to grin, but he has a feeling it doesn’t look good because that adorable worried look on Steve’s face just gets worse. “Don’t move, Tony. Just lie still. Help is gonna make it over here. You’ll be fine.”

“Liar,” Tony accuses without heat. “I’m gonna die, and your time is better spent fighting than coddling me.”

“Now look who’s lying,” Steve’s voice gentles. He sighs and says quietly, “I don’t think we’re making it out of this one, Tony. Any of us.”

“Fuck that!” Tony tries to push up and pain spikes through him, so sharp and so encompassing that he can’t even tell where it’s coming from. He drops back down on his back, his breathing ragged, and Steve gently holds him there.

“Please. For me, Tony. Lie still,” he pleads. Tony gets ready to snap at him but then he really sees Steve’s expression, the pain there, and he nods.

“Yeah. So who else is down?”

“Do you really wanna talk about this?” Steve asks. Tony levels a look at him and Steve sighs, “Most of the Guardians, Daredevil, Hulk, Spider-Man, Natasha,” he stutters a little on the last name, tears starting to drip from his eyes, “B-bucky. No one else is looking too good, actually.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony says. Steve shakes his head and curls over Tony protectively when an explosion goes off near Thanos and the battle, glaring at the combatants. That makes Tony laugh a little and because he’s never going to have another chance he says, “You know, I love your hands.”

“What?” Steve turns his attention to Tony, frowning.

“Your hands. They’re gorgeous. Real artist’s hands. Whenever we were in the same place for more than a few hours at a time I loved watching you get your sketchbook out and draw. I always thought I’d ask you out someday, but then the damn Accords happened,” Tony explains. There. One last confession off his chest to ease his conscience before he dies.

Steve blinks and begins laughing hysterically, tears running down his face. Tony worries for a moment before Steve speaks, and Tony realizes that Steve is mourning not only for Tony’s imminent death but for what they could have had together. “You’re kidding. You mean if I’d just kissed you all the times I’d wanted to, we might have avoided all of this?”

“Not exactly,” Tony shakes his head, “After all, you were still lying to me about Bucky and my parents. So things still would have gone to shit.”

“Yeah …” Steve sighs. “I’m so sorry, Tony. I wish we would have done things differently. I mean … I wish I would have done it differently. I wish I would have told you, tried to talk to you about it. Maybe even if things would have still ended here we would have at least been happy in the interim.”

“We probably would have been, yeah,” Tony says. His breath rattles wetly in his chest and Steve makes a noise that sounds scared and upset. It starts to become hard to keep his eyes open, and the last thing he sees is Steve pulling him close despite the armor and beginning to weep.

* * *

 

Tony’s eyes go half lidded and his body stills. Steve knows he’s dead without even having to check but he does anyway. He has to make certain.

No pulse, no breath.

Steve lets out an anguished, wordless scream and looks up at where their allies who are still standing are fighting Thanos. He grabs his shield and wades into the fray, bashing at Thanos with everything he has. If it’s the last thing he does he’s going to kill Thanos for this, though based on the expressions on the faces of his remaining friends and allies he’ll probably have to wait in line for that honor.

Eventually the Gauntlet that Thanos had been wielding is knocked off his hand and Steve, working on some instinct he doesn’t understand, grabs it.

“No, don’t!” Peter Quill shouts.

It’s too late, though, and he slides it on his hand. One moment he’s standing on the battlefield, friends dead on the ground around him and their enemy approaching him. The next moment he’s standing in the Avengers compound.

He gasps and looks down at himself. He’s wearing his regular clothes and feels freshly showered, like he’s just come from a run. The Gauntlet is gone.

Patting himself down he pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks it. If he has the date right it’s about the time when Tony started spending time at the compound again after the Ultron debacle. After learning what he did about Pepper and Tony during the Accords mess, Steve now knows that this is about when Tony and Pepper broke things off for good.

This is it. This is his chance.

Steve runs to Tony’s room and when he doesn’t find him there he goes down to the garage to see Tony there, working, goggles on his head and looking happy. There’s a tightness in Steve’s chest and stomach flopping wildly and he smiles. God, he never thought they’d ever see each other alive again. He wants to run over and kiss Tony and hold him tightly and never let go. But first thing’s first.

“Hey, Tony. How are you?” Steve asks, heart beating rapidly in his chest..

“Oh, hey. I didn’t see you there. How was your run?” Tony barely glances up but he’s smiling more.

“It was great. But while I was out I realized I need to talk to you about something. Do you have some time?”

Tony holds up a hand and closes the computer stuff he’s working on and then turns his whole attention on Steve. “Sure. What’s up?”

Steve takes a deep breath and then launches into it, telling him everything he knows he needs to. This time things will be different, he’s sure of it. Hopefully they’ll change enough things that they won’t all die at Thanos’ hands, but if they don’t then they’ll at least spend the last few months together and happy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from [Ships in the Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCkfTCjF8SM) by Mat Kearney, because it came on to Pandora right as I was trying to figure out where I wanted to go with this fic - the white edges on the pictures gave it a fuzzy quality to me, evocative of dreams or memories, hence the way the fic went - and the [lyrics](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/matkearney/shipsinthenight.html) seemed very fitting to me.
> 
> Fic warnings - Tony dies in Steve's arms and it is implied that basically every one else died, too. But Steve travels back in time to long before the battle thanks to the Infinity Gauntlet and sees Tony alive and well. It's not exactly stated, but everybody else came back, too.


End file.
